Sand Castle

A call

1 phone call: 

• Loads of swearing.
• Mean words.
• Degrading comments.

ALL from one of the closest person to me. 

I felt my body going weak.

A lot of cell died.

But my mind. My mind is calmer than usual. Affected. But calm.
I know I have become stronger. Mentally.

It’s because I am contended. And that I live for myself, not you.
If saying all those to me and fuss over a minor problem is happy for you…

Then good.
Because I only want you to be happy.
If you are happy, then I’m glad. At least I’ve done my part of being a “filial” daughter.

xoxo

Faith

Ever since I was young, I love day dreaming.

I dreamed of the ideal life that I would have someday.
I dreamed of the kind of woman I would become someday.
I dreamed of the kind of LIFE i would have one day.

As I grow up, I still hold on to the ideal conception towards life and everything else.

Of course, I’ve learned that life is not perfect…eventually. It took me a long while to come to my senses. Loads of conversation + brainwash etc.
But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming. Just adding more realism onto my “ideal” world.

And I am thankful that I accept reality and learning to embrace it.
At least…moving forward, I know what to look out for and how to overcome it.

I will prove to everyone that has ever doubted my “idea”, wrong.
One day I will look back to this journal again and feel so damn proud of myself today, for holding on to my own belief.

xoxo

Losing it

I’ve been browsing different design blog sites and I am seriously losing touch in creativity.

The “should really do..” list have been piling up and “have completed” is nowhere but empty.

My passion towards design is undeniable. However, doing it is another challenge. 

In a way, I’m glad that I’m moving towards the “corporate world”. But climbing the corporate ladder is indeed difficult.

The type of people I’ve been dealing with, really drives me up the wall. At times I feel like I would either a) vomit blood or b) lose control and chop them in pieces.

Obviously I’m still sane, therefore none of the above had happened.

When I was drown in all the drama, I like to read or look at design sites. It gives me peace and beautiful images. It’s like a mantra to my suffering creative soul.*meditate in silence*

In a way, I am glad that I’m still passionate towards the creative side of the world. The one carrot that keeps me running forward, is the mac book that I will soon get.

Moodboard

The color is Red for anger.

Then blue for sadness.

Purple for stressed out.

Red again for anger.

Dark red for bloody angry.

White for dissapointment. 

Word.

I am thinking

Of Sangria.

Finger food.

Swimming pool.

Tanning lotion.

Friends.

Perfection!

Old times

Way back then, I used to have a childhood playmate.To be frank, we’ve known each other for only 2 weeks.

Something happen in between, but nothing worked out.

Tonight, I was just browsing through facebook page, searching for him.
*Guilt*

But another part of me convinced myself that it is purely the intention of looking for an old flame friend.

THEN.

I found a guy look awfully like him.
My heart leap.

As I click on the “Add as friend” I went…here goes..

Well, lets see what happens next.